I am desperately seeking some guidance as to how to go about making some forward motion with my life. I like me for me. I have no problems with that aspect. My biggest issue is my lack of resources. I would be content to work a job that I am bored with, as long as it made me enough money to afford me the free time I need to study, independently, what I choose (school means nothing to me except for the need of a piece of paper saying I can be relied upon to follow rules, enough to get hired, since I can read a book and absorb the knowledge better on my own.) The other side of that would be me choosing a career that keeps me stimulated and fulfilled enough that I don’t mind working at it more of the time. I don’t know where to begin. I know I should be smart enough to navigate my own way through a system set up for “normal” individuals, using my exceptional abilities. However, after years of jumping from job to job, several attempts at college, multiple experiences where my extreme work ethic and efficiency have been exploited, unappreciated and resented, and years of self-sabotage, I really want to make some progress that I can feel. I have no one else in my life that inspires/guides/supports me in a manner that effectively assists me in making progress, and I’ve recently learned that I’m not an island. Of course my parents have always wanted me to do better for myself. Their answers to my problems are repetitive and simple, and have not been effective. Again, college has not worked out as of yet. Perhaps it’s because I never had an end goal in mind? I have pondered for months what it is that I’d like to do for a living, that’s worth it to me to put forth that sort of patience and time in order to gain the certification. At this age, I think I’m not only stuck due to my apprehension at spending 6+ years in a system of learning that is basically slow water torture, but also now I’m in the group of adults who cannot stop working in order to put the time towards education, because even if you get a scholarship, it only pays for school and not the money you miss from spending that time in the school rather than at work. I work 7 days a week right now.

I looked at this site because I was doing a search for resources for “Gifted adults w/ ADD” and MENSA always pops up. The last time I took an IQ test, I was in first grade. I’ve no idea what it is. I know I have the same issues that everyone else in my boat would have… mathematics when not used everyday are lost, as a language that’s not spoken on a regular basis. As a child, I was able to ace tests because even though I had my own ideas about the answers, I knew what the badly worded questions implied the tester wanted to have as an answer. As an adult, I find that I’m more literal than I ever was then, and much less flexible, and I often miss the obvious implications of simply worded questions because I get caught up on the minutia. Perhaps I can do well on lateral thinking tests, or deductive reasoning, or even critical thinking, but traditional IQ tests include the average stuff as well. What do I do? I cannot answer, in one word, what type of animal I would be, if I were an animal. I am already an animal… duh. And “me”, or “human” are not on the multiple choice lists.

I think I need to wrap it up here. I do tend to ramble on. The internist put me on Adderall, and a mood stabilizer. I went from feeling jaded and bitter about the differences between myself and those who surround me to feeling awkward and desperate to make progress. I think my adaptive skills that were gained during my young adult life were, in part, my ability to compartmentalize or marginalize my emotional reactions to the unwillingness of others to accept or inspire me. Essentially, I had given up on humanity accepting me, and resigned to be alone. Now that I feel the need to push forward, I am perpetually frustrated by my current lifestyle (meaning the jobs that surround me with the people I can’t relate to, the struggle for money, resources, and respect (which hardly ever occurs) that I have to gain by kissing the butts of more people like that, and again, the lack of direction or assistance in getting some structure that I can feel comfortable with.

I most notably appreciated the lengthy response by “J Cook.” I would really appreciate ANY response from anyone here who has some direction to give me. I really have tried to research and find it on my own, and keep feeling like I’m hitting a wall for some reason. Throw me a rope or drop a ladder please!

I can relate to a lot of this in one fashion or another right down to starting a summer business when I was 19.

I’m not sure if I belong on here as I don’t know what my IQ is? The lone worldly and wealthy industrialist in our village was a neighbor and HS friend of my mothers and he once said I had “real brainpower.” I had one or two of the “although his grades don’t reflect it” notes on the report card to back up the previous lofty claim. I was bored in school but made it through on schedule. I have a lot of dyslexia in my family however I have no idea if there is any relationship to ADD?

I’m not sure how I finished college, maybe peer pressure? Somedays I’d like to see if anyone ever finished at that school with a lower GPA?

Speaking of which, I hated math in school but learned in college that I did in fact have an aptitude for it. I can visualize calculus. Having not been able to focus on geometry in middle school though, it took multiple attempts and a tutor to get through 10 hours of it.

The deal broke down with math in middle school when they switched my teachers. I had my baseball coach for 8th grade math for a month. I paid attention to him as well as I could for that reason and that reason only. I don’t mean to blame “the system” and I realize it was likely for the greater good however that event did have some impact.

I passed intermediate calculus at a Big 10 school without knowing any geometry. I can do straight math pretty well in my head and folks have commented on that over the years. I probably do have my own way of breaking it down? As for multiplication my dyslexic Dad sat me down one May night a little over 40 years ago and made me learn a year of multiplication that night for the next days test.

The only person I ever worked with that was a better proof reader than me was a Yale grad. With that said, I caught my usual obscure mistakes in a doc just yesterday without noticing that the title had been changed. I win some and I lose some but in my head it’ seldom about the win or what I do well.

Dina,

Thank you for putting such eloquent wording around this. I am 50 and I’ve known I’ve been ADD for 10 years or so but I’ve lived a lot of what you were talking about. This was really a big help!

I am envious and happy for you that you’re getting a handle on it early in life. I would definitely encourage you to keep writing. You have a way with words when it comes to this topic!

John,

I would vote for total drug legalization. My rationale? It would provide Tax revenue and jobs while curtailing the revenue streams of criminal enterprises.

John/Eric

I’m a very insecure person so some of what you say is foreign to me. I have done a variety of related IT and IT vendor jobs that vary widely from one to another, go figure. If I’m fired up about the right opportunity I’m a star, from the get go. That doesn’t happen much though. I also was fired once. I would have lasted longer on that job with a GPS. I once flew to a job and had the reference manual shipped to the hotel the day before arrival. I was scared to death, however, the client never knew that (or that they were my first deployment on that system). This client and I have a good relationship two years later. I can play in that world however I just don’t like it. I’m not sure if that is my authentic self or if the unmitigated issues are casting a haze over this? Back to the trapped in your mind thing.

Folks, thank you for your insight. If I get a handle on this thing I will mark this moment! Right now I wonder? I’ve got some other issue to sort out and I can’t seem to get it together to get diagnosed. I’ve been to a Dr. twice and left with the questionaires. One got filled out by my ex- years ago, one is sitting in a pile somewhere.

Ok, rambling pointlessly now, thanks folks, Godspeed!

Thanks for the comment on drug legalization in America. You were very candid without the usual need to justify what you said. Excellent, and very much what I hoped to see. I appreciate your reply.

Eric, could you email me privately? My address is in the replies above. I am hoping to do something and I would appreciate your candid thoughts on it. It is an attempt to assist a group; the elderly and disabled in America who are forced to endure a lower than poverty income in country the world considers one of the most wealthy.

Given the excessively wasteful spending of the American government, this country could easily do more to assist those citizens who, through no fault of their own, cannot help themselves. A group that is currently forced to live under some of the most stressful conditions the world has to offer. We think they do well, especially considering the state of others in poor countries. What we forget is those in the ‘poor countries’ have always lived that way. By comparison, the poor in Iraq or Iran are actually little different than their middle class. Here, where the country is, by comparison to Iran, extremely wealthy, the disabled and elderly on a fixed social security or disability income are truly different. Most cannot repair anything that breaks and are consistently in stress over money. They commonly go without necessary medical attention or are forced to endure second class medical assistance. There are even doctors and nurses who consider these people a burden on society, forgetting they are humans!

Yet consider that these are likely the people who were the builders of this wealthy country and those who sacrificed a limb or their health to assist us all in making America a wealthy country. Now they are forced to endure a lower than poverty income and are kept in this position by the ‘poverty police’ or the Social Security Administration who enforces ancient legislation designed to keep the disabled or the elderly from earning more money under threat of canceling their only, and very meager income should they show any earning potential.

These twelve to fifteen million low income people represent a hidden society that the wealthy hierarchy of American government does not want exhibited. They want it to remain a hidden secret so other countries do not learn of how we treat them. Additionally the government does not wish to have the burden of determining a method of assisting these people. It is an unpopular agenda and it bears the burden of association to any official who attempts to assist them.

How, for example, can the American Government find a way to bring additional assistance to a group of people that many Americans already (and secretly) feel are not worthy of the little money they are provided. Although it is not a spoken message, many Americans feel that most of the the disabled are just lazy people faking it so they can get free money and they won’t have to work. They also feel that the Americans who did not work hard enough to put away a retirement income do not deserve money. They are getting what they deserve–the tale of the grasshopper and the ant certainly was no help, and many still cannot see the difference between insects and humans. These complaining Americans are feeling the need for greed that has been well instilled by the wealthy corporations. They are jealous and think that money should be for themselves–especially since they are working to support the bums on welfare, which is a completely different program than from Social Security and Disability.

Yes, I know I have not taken the time to show that I realize not all Americans feel this, and there are many variables within this, but regardless, this large group of Americans needs an intelligent leader to assist their cause. Although I am not necessarily hoping to attain any position in this, if needed I am willing to assume the role of spokesman–at least until a proper spokesman can be retained. I am not the spokesman type. I speak in terms of reality–not something many wish to face–yet reality is what determines our future based on our present day methods.

I have done much in the way of research in this and I think a good beginning would be a web page designed to bring this group together and tell them that some intelligent Americans realize their predicament and are willing to assist them in bringing actual knowledge to America and provide the American government with the necessary numbers, research, and case studies to realize the extent of this problem as well as outline some potential solutions that would fit everyone.

I need some feedback on this issue. If you or others have any thoughts, would like to assist, can do advanced web and database programming, and have the time to volunteer–as I am–I would appreciate hearing from you. I am a Photoshop artist (although not an advanced one, I do decent looking stuff) and I will be providing my time to do the visuals.

Please let me know if you can help. If you know any elderly on Social Security or people on a Disability income that might be willing to assist and can offer the necessary skills, please pass my email address onto them.

Thanks so very much,

John Marion Cook

I have always found myself to do great on tests and I believe its because of the way I learn as opposed to simply memorizing material. I go into a test confident, and never let emotions hinder my ability, (not in anything I do in fact). If for some reason I do do poor on a test I never get down about it. I learn the material and do better the next time. I have gone to college, learned lots, and go from job to job as you said is typical for guys and gals like us. I started my own business last summer at the age of 19 and made pretty good money, enough to pay for some more college at least, this summer I found a sales job based on commision. I have found it to be a great fit, I work when I want to, I only get paid if I work, and the better I am at my job the more I get paid, and ive never found myself to be average at anything in which I put forth enough energy and time. My creativity and problem-solving always seem to excel me further and further up the ladder very quickly. But by the time I’m at the top I’m looking for my next outlet and trying to expand other facits of my life. I find myself to be very personable and empathetic which allow me to relate to almost anyone I meet. Thats why for me I don’t completely agree with me not getting along with “normal people” I usually can get along with anybody because I find ways I am similar to so many people. Yes, I do believe that most of the time I am completely different to the person I am trying to relate to, but I focus on what ever it is that makes us similar. The things that make us different are usually unimportant and unnecessary for discussion. Because I relate to so many people I often find myself being able to argue both sides to any argument and often switching my own opinions back and forth very easily when presented with new, relevant, information. anyone else like that? anyways, I feel like I’ve blabbered, rambled, and followed this stream of thought long enough.

Eric Brian Wentworth

I think that legalizing drugs in america could have many affects. some good. some bad. on one hand the stigma of drug use would be lifted off of many peoples shoulders and would allow them to casually use drugs and still function and contribute to society more efficiently. On the other hand I do believe that many drugs are illegal for good reason (mostly because of addicting qualities) and allowing people to try them could leave mean addicted and that causes more problems due to financial and emotional distress.

as far as everything you stated about HIADD I am a firm believer in it and feel like I am a perfect match to everything you had listed about it except one thing in particular and that was about seeing others as chimpanzees. To me, I do feel different and in many ways, more gifted, but I feel like every single person is interesting to me and I think that every single person knows more about, at least one, particular subject than I do therefore I can learn something from every person I meet.