20 Ways to Say No
ADD Consults has a list of 20 ways to say no, with some commentary on each one, by Ramona Creel.
I’ve noticed that some of my ADD coaching clients (and Non ADDers as well) have trouble saying no to other people or themselves in regards to taking on extra tasks when they already have too much to do. When you combine this with ADD traits such as:
1. A reduced awareness of time in general, i.e., tending to underestimate the time involved to complete a task, and overestimating the amount of free time in their lives,
2. Procrastination
3. Disorganization
4 Being easily distracted
5. Being impulsive
it’s often a sure recipe for frustration, anxiety, aggravation and stress.
In these cases, if I just help my coaching clients work on their problems relating to things like procrastination, distraction, and disorganization without helping them to discover ways to say no more often, they will end up being more efficient but still overloaded and overwhelmed. They’ll just be adding more tasks on their already overloaded plates. They’ll get more done but still have the same amount of stress if not more.
So it’s really important to learn to say no not only to others but to ourselves, since often ADDers have bigger eyes than their stomachs when it comes to taking on extra tasks. Being so naturally creative, we can easily come up with 5 times more things to do than other people. So learning different ways of saying no is a VERY important skill for ADDers. Think of it as a primary stress reduction technique.
Here are a few examples from the list I like:
I am in the middle of several projects
I do not have any more room in my calendar
I know you will do a wonderful job yourself
I would rather decline than do a mediocre job
I am in the middle of several projects
I need to leave some free time for myself
I do not enjoy that kind of work
I do not have any more room in my calendar
I am not comfortable with that
No
