Comments on: Men with Adult ADHD. The Effect on Their Families. http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/ A Blog about Adults with Attention Surplus Condition (aka ADHD) by Adult ADHD Coach Pete Quily Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:15:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Pete Quily http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1472811 Pete Quily Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:42:37 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1472811 Hi Joy, find someone to help him <a href="http://adultaddstrengths.com/2008/02/21/top-10-ways-to-manage-adult-adhd/" rel="nofollow">learn how to manage adhd</a>. the meds will help make it easier to learn those skills. See Top 10 Ways to Manage Adult ADHD Also make sure it's just adhd and not narcissitic personality disorder or adhd plus narcissism. And read http://www.adhdmarriage.com Hi Joy, find someone to help him learn how to manage adhd. the meds will help make it easier to learn those skills. See Top 10 Ways to Manage Adult ADHD

Also make sure it’s just adhd and not narcissitic personality disorder or adhd plus narcissism. And read http://www.adhdmarriage.com

]]> By: Joy http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1472725 Joy Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:11:28 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1472725 My comment is similar to MM above but I do not see a response to her comments. My husband and I have been married just over 6 years and have one daughter who is 9 months old. I knew when we got married that he had ADD but really only thought it affected his work. We realized a few months ago JUST HOW MUCH his ADD affects our marriage. I am constantly feeling like he is selfish even though I know his heart is pure. He has an extremely difficult time thinking of others before himself and it is to the point of driving me crazy. I could go on and on but as MM asked, do you have any advice on the spouses of those with ADD and how we might stay sane while dealing with their disorder? thank you! My comment is similar to MM above but I do not see a response to her comments. My husband and I have been married just over 6 years and have one daughter who is 9 months old. I knew when we got married that he had ADD but really only thought it affected his work. We realized a few months ago JUST HOW MUCH his ADD affects our marriage. I am constantly feeling like he is selfish even though I know his heart is pure. He has an extremely difficult time thinking of others before himself and it is to the point of driving me crazy. I could go on and on but as MM asked, do you have any advice on the spouses of those with ADD and how we might stay sane while dealing with their disorder? thank you!

]]> By: Michele http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1470185 Michele Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:34:19 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1470185 Hi Adam Seek out a therapist, they will be able to help you and or determine if you need meds. Also find groups in your area that deal with Adult ADHD and go together to these meetings. Both of you need to meet folks that are dealing with the same situation. Hang in there, the light is at the end of the tunnel, my husband has anger issues as well so I totally understand where your girl friend is coming from. A good therapist will educate in how to deal with your anger that is what my husband therapist is doing for him and I already see the difference. Good Luck. Hi Adam
Seek out a therapist, they will be able to help you and or determine if you need meds. Also find groups in your area that deal with Adult ADHD and go together to these meetings. Both of you need to meet folks that are dealing with the same situation. Hang in there, the light is at the end of the tunnel, my husband has anger issues as well so I totally understand where your girl friend is coming from. A good therapist will educate in how to deal with your anger that is what my husband therapist is doing for him and I already see the difference.
Good Luck.

]]> By: Pete Quily http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1470181 Pete Quily Mon, 24 Oct 2011 14:19:40 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1470181 Hi Adam, If you believe you aree in the right why do you have to shout? Confidence is quiet, it's like you're trying to convince yourself you're in the right. The problem seems to be around lack of self awareness, self control and effective communications, basically a skills issue, that many adults with ADHD have problems with. So find ways to learn those skills. You might want to consider hiring an <a href="http://www.addcoach4u.com/adhd-coaching/adultaddcoaching.html" rel="nofollow">ADHD coach </a>or therapist that knows ADHD to help you to learn those skills. Hi Adam,

If you believe you aree in the right why do you have to shout? Confidence is quiet, it’s like you’re trying to convince yourself you’re in the right.

The problem seems to be around lack of self awareness, self control and effective communications, basically a skills issue, that many adults with ADHD have problems with. So find ways to learn those skills.

You might want to consider hiring an ADHD coach or therapist that knows ADHD to help you to learn those skills.

]]> By: Adam http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1470015 Adam Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:11:23 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1470015 Hi , i am 26 year old male who has ADHD. i was treated up to the age of 14 then refused to take them anymore. My relationship is in Jep. i need some advice. My GF says that I dont treat her will, because when i get angry i take it out on her by name calling and , yelling, the fact of the matter is when i am doing that i believe im in the right. but hours after or even minutes i realize that. i was totally wrong. I feel ashamed and embarrassed for they way i have acted and treated her. today she says i have one LAST and FINAL Chance . any advice will help. just wanna know how to stop it. it occurs once a month usually. I Love her and want to show her the changes i am making to keep her Hi , i am 26 year old male who has ADHD. i was treated up to the age of 14 then refused to take them anymore. My relationship is in Jep. i need some advice. My GF says that I dont treat her will, because when i get angry i take it out on her by name calling and , yelling, the fact of the matter is when i am doing that i believe im in the right. but hours after or even minutes i realize that. i was totally wrong. I feel ashamed and embarrassed for they way i have acted and treated her. today she says i have one LAST and FINAL Chance . any advice will help. just wanna know how to stop it. it occurs once a month usually. I Love her and want to show her the changes i am making to keep her

]]> By: MM http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1469389 MM Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:38:38 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1469389 My husband and I have been together for 6 years. He's 33 and a successful engineer. He was diagnosed with ADD 15 years ago. I'm finding it has really changed me as a person as everything I do I need to make him the centre of. I love him dearly and want to start a family with him because he is a beautiful person but I don't know what to do sometimes when he's just very angry at me if he's had accumulated stress. He's extremely negative and that becomes hard to tolerate after a while. Can you please explain some ways in which we -the partners of someone with ADD- can stay sane and maybe alleviate some of their angst? note: he is on dexamphetamines and has been since diagnosis. My husband and I have been together for 6 years. He’s 33 and a successful engineer. He was diagnosed with ADD 15 years ago. I’m finding it has really changed me as a person as everything I do I need to make him the centre of. I love him dearly and want to start a family with him because he is a beautiful person but I don’t know what to do sometimes when he’s just very angry at me if he’s had accumulated stress. He’s extremely negative and that becomes hard to tolerate after a while.
Can you please explain some ways in which we -the partners of someone with ADD- can stay sane and maybe alleviate some of their angst?
note: he is on dexamphetamines and has been since diagnosis.

]]> By: Pete Quily http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1462906 Pete Quily Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:51:14 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1462906 Thanks Michele, good advice Thanks Michele, good advice

]]> By: Michele http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1462888 Michele Thu, 15 Sep 2011 21:34:23 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1462888 I am one of the luckest women in the world I have been married to my husband for 33 years. Yesterday we found out he has ADHD, the wonderful part is we now both have something to work with and his therapist (who is a wonderful) is helping him to learn how to deal with this disorder. To all you wifes out there if you really love your husband be his foundation and help him get help. When he told me last night he has ADHD I could see the relief in his face because he was getting help. Thank you for this site I just found it today and your comments are helpful. I am one of the luckest women in the world I have been married to my husband for 33 years. Yesterday we found out he has ADHD, the wonderful part is we now both have something to work with and his therapist (who is a wonderful) is helping him to learn how to deal with this disorder. To all you wifes out there if you really love your husband be his foundation and help him get help. When he told me last night he has ADHD I could see the relief in his face because he was getting help. Thank you for this site I just found it today and your comments are helpful.

]]> By: Pete Quily http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1397909 Pete Quily Tue, 04 Jan 2011 22:08:27 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1397909 Sounds like it's more than adhd. If he doesn't have meds why shouldn't he be angry at himself vs you. Meds are useful but they're only part of the equation, therapy would be useful in that case IF the therapist knows adhd And he's open and willing to change.. You might want to visit an adhd support group for you and a therapist for you. Make sure to put on your oxygen mask first. Maybe look at the adhdmarriage.com blog Sounds like it’s more than adhd. If he doesn’t have meds why shouldn’t he be angry at himself vs you. Meds are useful but they’re only part of the equation, therapy would be useful in that case IF the therapist knows adhd And he’s open and willing to change.. You might want to visit an adhd support group for you and a therapist for you. Make sure to put on your oxygen mask first. Maybe look at the adhdmarriage.com blog

]]> By: B http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/comment-page-1/#comment-1397899 B Tue, 04 Jan 2011 21:05:11 +0000 http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/04/25/men-with-adult-add-the-effect-on-their-families/#comment-1397899 We have have not been able to afford medication for a very long time. We may try the generic again, but last go, created a super agitated, angry large man. Insurance doesn't care, and we don't have a couple hundred extra a month for Ritilin SR (or LA ideally) and we are on the verge of Divorce. He points out that Impusiveness in ADD is a large reason for his infidility and he is angry at me that he doesn't have meds. As a non-ADD wife, there is no winning. No talking to him and I am at wits end. We have have not been able to afford medication for a very long time. We may try the generic again, but last go, created a super agitated, angry large man. Insurance doesn’t care, and we don’t have a couple hundred extra a month for Ritilin SR (or LA ideally) and we are on the verge of Divorce. He points out that Impusiveness in ADD is a large reason for his infidility and he is angry at me that he doesn’t have meds.

As a non-ADD wife, there is no winning. No talking to him and I am at wits end.

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