Adult ADD Strengths

Melissa Orlov did a great post on the ADHD and Marriage blog.

Often when women say “We need to talk” we men hear “You need to do what I want.”

She talked about

One of the most frequent questions that comes up is one of frustration – “how do I get my ADD spouse to listen to me about our problems?”  The short answer is that you can’t if he doesn’t want to, but let me elaborate, as this is clearly at the heart of many struggling marriages…

Melissa Orlov has a great post that’s a must read to help the ADD male understand what some non ADD wives want from them. Great title too, The Care and Feeding of a Non-ADD Spouse.

Unfortunately a lot of men who have Adult ADD are in denial about how their ADD related behaviors affects their wives. Or, they minimize the true impact untreated ADD has on their marriage. Some men need to be on their third wife before they begin to take their ADHD seriously, ie ADD medications are useful, but they won’t teach you self awareness and skills. Sometimes I coach men with adult ADD just around relationships, they have a high stimulation job and adequate support systems at work but are on the verge of divorce at home because they’re not managing their negative ADHD symptoms.

Dr. Ed Hallowell and Melissa Orlov’s excellent blog on ADHD and Marriage now has a new ADHD and Marriage forum attached to it. Check it out.

The section with the most posts so far on the new forum? The one on Anger, Frustration & ADHD. Not exactly a big surprise that it’s a popular topics in ADHD relationships.

In one post a man asks a question about his ADHD wife who isn’t getting her share of the household chores done despite being unemployed.

One respondent says something I think all adults with ADHD and their spouses/partners should read 3 times out loud. Maybe more.