No, not my words, one of my Adult ADHD coaching clients. One of the many benefits of being an adult ADHD coach is that you get to decide who you will and won’t coach (i.e. I don’t coach rude people) and one result of that is that I coach some pretty cool, creative people.
I thought it was a brilliant idea behind the words “I figured out the most laziest way to do it” and reframed it as “I was able to figure out the smartest, easiest most efficient way to do it” or words to that effect.
One of the advantages (or negatives depending on the context) of ADD is that we are often impatient. That is when we want to get something done and are not procrastinating in doing so, we want it done quickly and efficiently so we can get on to more interesting and exciting things.
One of the many reasons I use a Mac instead of windows is I don’t want to have to slow my mind down to do a task in 8 steps when I can do it in 2. It takes a lot of talent to simplify things, making things more complex is easy.
The characteristics of adults with ADHD can be a strength or a weakness depending on how skilled you are at using those characteristics and in what context you use them.
ADHD adults tend to be good at being creative at figuring out how to do things quickly with the least amount of steps possible, especially if it’s something that they’re interested in. My guess is that’s probably the combination of impatience, being able to see things from multiple angles (one advantage of not filtering incoming sensations as much as other people do), and acting impulsively by being willing to try different methods and take risks.
That’s one reason why ADDers often don’t do well in large, conservative bureaucratic organizations or companies where they often have the mentality of “that’s the way we’ve always done it so it should be good enough for you”.
My response to that is that frequently “that’s the way you’ve always done it, is because you weren’t:
A) smart enough
B) creative enough
C) or had enough initiative to come up with an easier and more effective way of doing it”
I know several ADHD coaches who also refuse to coach rude people. Yet it seems that people with ADHD are more likely to be rude then the general population. What would you suggest to a prospective client who is currently rude, but willing to try to change lifelong behavior patterns?
good question John.
I guess it depends on who they’re rude too. Everyone’s rude sometime, even non ADDers. If they’re rude to me or other ADD coaches, we usually won’t want to deal with them. I guess the person would have to learn that their behavior is unacceptable and get out of denial (i.e., “he made me angry”) and take responsibility for their behavior and start changing it.
Coaches are human and most humans with good boundaries won’t deal with people like that, perhaps some therapists might, not sure on that though.
Hi. I have a thirteen month old son, and I am only 19 myself. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t the best mom I could be, thought it was because of my age, and just recently (today actually) thought that it may be the ADD I was diagnosed with in the 2nd grade, and haven’t been treated for since the 5th or sixth grade. Everyday is hard for me, but I am determined to become a better mother. Decided to do some research and have loved the couple articles that I’ve read so far. You had an article about ADD parents raising AD/HD children, are your views the same about ADD parents raising younger children who haven’t yet been diagnosed with AD/HD? I live on Guam, so it’s not surprising that nobody has formed an ADD support group here yet. Would love to read your link “26 Ways Pete Can Help ADD Adults,” but can’t get it to open. Thanks so much for you time, and for this blog, hope to visit frequently.
Also, been thinking recently about getting more exercise to help handle stress that I have built up because I always hear that exercise helps with stress and such…have any facts about how exercise relates to ADD sufferers?
Thanks Christina, changed the link structure and didn’t update it. try it again or try it directly here http://www.addcoach4u.com/adhd-coaching/benefitsofbeing.html
One thing in your case is you know you have ADD is that you can take action on your ADD and start learning about how to deal with ADD in kids to get a head start. you might want to start your own ADD support group, i have a lot of articles on how to do so here http://www.addcoach4u.com/support/howtostartasupportgro.html
Exercise is the #1 non medical way to deal with adhd. boosts dopamine, norepinephrine, seretonin and beta endorphins.
I am so happy to have found this website! I am SO IMPATIENT to tell my son about it!! ha ha….I am absolutely in LOVE the idea of finding the LAZIEST way to do something haha. I have so often described to doctors and therapists that trying to teach my children responsibility, consistency and organization is like a person with no legs trying to teach her children with no legs how to run! I had to write to you on this one though because if there is a SHORTER ROUTE to get something done you can BEST BET that I am going to FIND IT! And if i am in a situation, where people REFUSE to do that because that is ‘the way it has always been done’ I have the same exact thoughts as you. And what blows my mind, is how many people really are too lazy to figure out a shorter way or work out the details FROM the big picture rather than letting the big picture fall where it may. AND MAY I SAY that louisiana USA has to be the place in the world where anyone with ADHD may go the most insane! (ha) Reading through all of this has REALLY made me see why I am SO OFTEN IRRITATED with people and feel that they are idiots ha! What is a huge effort to THEM really is obvious and common sense to me. I have raised my son to celebrate his differences and strengths as an ADD child, whereas I was treated shamefully although I’m sure my parents did the best with what they had. Thanks so much, you certainly made my day!
You’re welcome Rhonda,
“I have raised my son to celebrate his differences and strengths as an ADD child”
I hope more adhd parents and other parents do the same
Mike Exercise and music also boost dopamine which helps you focus. try doing the paperwork right after the exercise or music.
I need help! I am 29 years old, live in the smallest town in the world (in Brazil) have recently dound out about about ADD, read TONS about it on the internet and I´m sure I have it! there aren´t many doctors around here and I´m seriously doubting I´ll find one who´s even heard of ADD, plus I think my whole family might have it! sounds extreme but if I had to bet (based on what little I know) I´d say my husband and my son have ADHD and I and my daughter ADD, of course l haven´t been diagnosed yet, this is all based on us, our lives, our household chaos, and everything I´ve read so far, I´m going the doc´s tomorrow to book an appointment, for next week, it will probably be a long, tough road to diagnosis and treatment for me (and maybe my children) meanwhile, would you care to talk to me? kill some of my curiosity about this? maybe I´m a good case study, research, whatever, maybe you can help me long-distance. Is it possible for a whole family to have AD(H)D? I also think my dad has it! I´d really like to hear from you, I´d really appreciate any help.
Thank you so much,
Denise
“the most laziest way to do it”: that reminds me of the book about how to program in the Perl computer programming language http://shop.oreilly.com/product/9780596000271.do with a picture of a camel on the cover. It says the three virtues of a programmer are laziness, procrastination and hubris, and sprinkles through the book explanations of how those are virtues (but also situations where they’re not so good, which the book calls “false laziness” etc.) Quite humourous, and serious at the same time.
Hi Cathy,
3 virtues as laziness, procrastination and hubris? great sense of humour. I’m not into programming but if i was sounds like a cool book.
I am a teacher and just found out I have always had ADHD – it makes a lot of sense! I claim it is my friend and I would never try to lose it if I could. I always tell my students that as a teenager I was incredibly lazy and found all the ‘easy’ ways to do maths, science, learn languages and learn music theory (I have 2 degrees in music). Almost all these things I did well in and now teach without writing things out (the traditional way of learning things). I was too lazy to write – I found techniques to do it all in my head! I still do – and teach others to do the same. The results have been effective and surprising.
The downside is that, yes, I struggle with the “conservative bureaucratic organisations” that you mention and often have fights with those that hold to the “always done it this way” mentality. Thankfully, I like to fight…