Part of #ExplainAdultADHD. A campaign to reduce the ignorance, misinformation, and stigma against adults with ADHD.
ADHD And Love (Or Lack There Of) Explain Adult ADHD
“I am a 32-year-old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD just two years ago. They said I was a “classic case” of a young girl who struggled in school and life not really knowing why, only to be diagnosed as an adult.
Everything that I have since learned about ADHD and how it affects my life and mind has been overwhelming, comforting, heartbreaking and liberating all at once.
Particularly how it has affected my heart. Over the years I wasn’t able to pinpoint what it was that made dating and love so hard and scary for me.
I now understand that emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitive dysphoria have been two major issues for me.
The feelings and thoughts that I’m flooded with when becoming involved with someone are often so overwhelming that I’ve creates patterns to find ways to get out of the relationship.
I worry that my forgetfulness, impulsiveness and difficulties managing my emotions may be off-putting to a partner and make them think that I don’t care. When in fact I care very deeply. My “highs and lows” are intense.
I actually had a hard time understanding how other people did it so easily. And now I understand. They don’t have ADHD.
They don’t have a response to rejection that puts them into an indescribably dark place that makes them fearful to ever be there again.
They don’t suffer from intrusive and negative thoughts that make them physically flinch. They don’t have such low self-worth that even when a person is trying to show them love, they feel unwanted.
All of these things have made it extremely challenging to find a partner in this world.
Now that I am aware of my diagnoses I am taking steps to heal and treat my mind, body and soul. I’m learning to accept myself but I fear that nobody will love me enough to do the same.
I fear the thing I want the most in this world. A relationship.”
By Dana Hall
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