#2. This post is a part of a series where people answer my anonymous survey question. If you have ADHD but haven’t gone public with it, what would it take to you go public with ADHD?
There are risks and rewards for going public with ADHD AND for staying hidden in the ADHD closet. See this post for context on the series.
Answer #2
“Hello Pete. While I am not silent about my ADHD in my family or among some friends, I don’t broadcast it otherwise. This is so, even being older and there being fewer opportunities to sabotage my career or prospects. What would make me more willing to talk about ADHD is having some visible diagnostic criterion which more clearly differentiates having ADHD from not having ADHD, that is, some criterion which people will see as being distinctive and problematic. Just about everyone sees themselves as being forgetful, or as procrastinating, or as having any other characteristic of ADHD you can point to. Admitting to having ADHD sounds like a copout, like a bad excuse for poor behaviour. It can make matters worse – not only have I transgressed, but I’m now trying to cover it up by some feeble excuse for my moral failings. Personally, since this can be used against me, I would rather take my lumps and not use ADHD as a reason for my behaviour, however legitimate it may be. Also, while having ADHD enhances some occupations, it is a kiss of death for others where being always on the ball is required – for example, ADHD can literally be the kiss of death for commercial flying. And a known diagnosis of ADHD might well be used by rivals or enemies to sabotage career or prospects.”
While in some situations we must be careful about not revealing too much I would say that in general revealing my ADHD has been very protective for me and has won me friends and support.
IE – “I am sorry about my disorganisation. You know I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. I am doing my best to become more organised. It would be really helpful if you could watch out for my doing inattentive things and give me a gentle reminder if you see me slipping up.”
That line worked every time I tried it.
It has won me many friends too.
sounds like a really good way to put it Andrew