This is from a study from my hometown, Vancouver, at the Dept of Psychology at UBC. Charlotte Johnston and C. Murray examined the impact of maternal attention on parenting behaviors, studying 60 mothers of children with ADD. Some mothers had ADD some didn’t.
They
…completed self-report and laboratory measures of monitoring of child behavior, consistency in parenting, and parenting problem-solving abilities. These parenting behaviors were selected because of their established links to the development of child behavior problems. As predicted, mothers with ADHD were found to be poorer at monitoring child behavior and less consistent disciplinarians compared with mothers without ADHD. There was some evidence to support the prediction that mothers with ADHD were less effective at problem solving about childrearing issues than control mothers. The differences between the 2 groups of mothers persisted after child oppositional and conduct-disordered behavior were controlled.
The study goes on to suggests that parenting is something that should be given more attention in Adult ADHD research.
I agree. There should be more studies on parenting ADHD children, after all we study them in school, is the home environment less important?
I always suggest to people who I talk to whose children have ADD that since ADD is the number 2 genetically inherited condition after height (80%), that if a child has it the parents should be screened for it if not for their own benefit, for the child’s benefit. Here’s some evidence why. However I wondered what they might find in terms of the advantages of monthers with ADD over those who don’t have it? Possibly better connections with the children due to a common trait?
I wonder how many of the women who had ADD had dealt with their ADD themselves and to what extent? I.e., just medication or learning the skills to manage their own ADD?
I wonder what the results would be if they took some ADHD parent training courses like the ADHD Parent Program in Vancouver? Pills can be useful in dealing with ADD but they don’t teach skills.
Here’s what they do:
* A family interview with a counsellor
* Eight group education sessions for parents on the neurobiology and characteristics of ADHD, effective communication, behaviour management strategies, stress and anger management, coping skills, problem solving, esteem building, and information on medications
* Four in-home visits to review how parents are managing new practices and help them resolve issues and prepare their children for success
* A group follow-up session after program completion to review skills and progress
* Referrals to parent support groups such as CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorders)
Unfortunately, as someone who has talked to many parents with ADHD in the Vancouver area, I have to tell those living outside of Vancouver that there’s no other cities in the area that have a similar program paid by the government (it’s free for qualified people living in Vancouver).
If ADD children are 2nd class citizens, ADD adults are 3rd class ones. When it comes to adults with ADD, we often get little or no resources available to us compared to those given to ADD children(which are not enough), we aren’t viewed as important by the government, health system or the media. Most of the ADD support groups tend to be run by parents mainly for their ADD children, not adults. So any lobbying of govt is usually more focused on children, not adults. ADDA, the Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Association is the exception to this
I think that this type of service should be available to parents in all cities (of a certain size, not a town of 150 people) across North America. What do you think?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
This article was really great!
I have adhd and its a struggle evryday. My son who is 8 has it to and it is tough.I agree with everything you have wrote i wish they had a place out here for parenting someone to show wich direction to go, to really know what u are suppose to expect of yourself and of your children. I dont want someone doing my parenting,i want to learn parenting skills. Especially having to raise a little one with adhd and still trying to handle the two five yr olds i have.
And u are right theres not enough information out there.
I agree. I have it as well as my 14 year old son and I only recently came to this conclusion: how am I supposed to overcome his barriers if I myself have similar barriers? Having been recently diagnosed myself, many of the patterns that probably led to his current difficulties, were established long ago. While my similar barriers and behaviour patterns give me a unique perspective to simpythize, it does not help correct. There are vary few resources out there to teach a person, (especially an adult), how to change patterns of a lifetime. Furthermore, the expenses alone, I recently found, are much higher medically for AD/HD families than those who are not.. perhaps looking at it from a cost perspective would help prompt more professionals to take notice.
“how am I supposed to overcome his barriers if I myself have similar barriers?”
Start getting educated on ADHD and get involved with others with ADHD like support groups and demand services. if there’s no ADHD support groups around start your own. One of the main reasons ADDers are second class citizens is they don’t organize (not a natural skill for us but can be learned) and lobby the media and government for services. Parents of ADD kids did so in Vancouver and they got services for them and their children.
I hear constant complaints that there’s no similar services from other local cities in the lower mainland, and suggest to them that they organize and lobby for such services but no one seems to bother, so nothing is done.
Professionals won’t take notice unless ADDers get organized and lobby govt’s and do media ADHD awareness campaigns because there are other competing groups out there demanding their time too. No one will do this for us, we need to do it ourselves and that includes ADDers who claim they’re “too busy, too disorganized”.
I would like to know more about the vancouver ADHD parent program. The given link does not respond. I am dealing with a parent with ADHD and wouldrelly help her with some strategies.
Fixed the link Jenny, try it again.
Well, I am looking for info on how to be an ADD parent and raise a ADHD child with anxiety and possible ODD and duslexia. It is very hard for me to deal with my child with limited resources. I finally paid to have my 10 year old son tested and the results are above. I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 12. In my son’s case he can not be medicated because it will only intensify his anxiety issues which means I am stuck trying to make sense of everything when I have ADD myself. Neither one of us can deal with each other and we both become extremely frustrated with each other. It used to be mainly at homework time but as he gets older, and 2 other children became involved, it is running our lives and making it pure HELL. The father is absent due to a divorce and lives 1000 miles away which is good for me but not my son. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Angela
Angela if he has ADD and anxiety and ocd he may still be able to be medicated but he’d probably need more than one medication
you might want to find a local add support group to talk to others in your position
http://www.addcoach4u.com/addsupportgroupresources.html
or check out http://www.chadd.org
keep in mind it’s the #2 genetically inherited condition after height, so odds are either you or your husband have it too.
This article is great. I have add and I have three little ones all under the age of 4. I definitely related to allot of things mentioned. There are not alot of resources available to provide me with information. There are no resources where I live.
I wish more people would learn about add especially in adults.
I’ve just finished your article and I must say thank you. I am not alone. I’m an ADHD mother with an ADD son. He’s now 33 and we have a lifetime of mistakes behind us. All I ever wanted was to be a good mother and imagine my surprise when my very very bright son at age 4 had power over me…Our wills clashed over everything. We’d love and then hate each other right through his teenage years. I gave up many time but in my heart never stopped loving him. Now all he can remember as an adult are the fights and harsh words. He was not diagnosed with ADD until his freshman year in college so we had no idea of what we were dealing with. NO one to help or show us the way. It is important to listen, forgive and always remember that our children are the most precious gift God will ever give. Hopefully through conciling my son and I can find our way back to each other. Angry words never leave a hurt childs mind. If I had only known that maybe I could have done things differently.
Hi Charlotte you may have it but even doctors get other doctors to diagnose them with ADHD so I’d suggest getting a diagnosis, maybe ADHD, maybe something that looks like ADHD, maybe ADHD and some other things.
You might have rotating ADD support group meetings at different peoples houses in your area. one parent could volunteer to mind the kids while the others meet. maybe have a look at my main website http://www.addcoach4u.com or http://www.chadd.org for some tips. perhaps Top 10 Ways to Manage Adult ADHD http://adultaddstrengths.com/2008/02/21/top-10-ways-to-manage-adult-adhd/
Hi…thanks for the confirmation about something that no one quite understands unless they are living it…the fact that ADD/ADHD is so difficult to manage, within one’s self as well as the ones we are responsible for to help the most, our children. It’s always good to receive confirmation that you are not crazy in regards to your perceptions in life. I think that it is wonderful that Vancouver is
progressive enough to offer some respect towards the challenges of this condition, but I think that it is perhaps unfair to insinuate that the parents with ADD do not “organize” effectively, simply because they claim to be too busy or to be unsettled. Of COURSE they can’t organize! I have to say that as a mother of three, one child with severe ADHD, and myself with ADD, it is certainly, in my experience 100% impossible to get all the necessary ducks in a row, in order to even get your school to acknowledge his adversity as a legitimate medical condition, let alone organize to successfully educate enough people, and to actually change legislation! Our children take medication and yet we are told on a daily basis that we are simply making excuses for being lazy in life! I spend 1 tenth of my time with perfect clarity about our condition and how it affects our alienated family life…and the other 90% of the time trying to decide whether or not I am simply incompetent in managing even a day, let alone a lifetime! And as a result, my family suffers…and nothing changes…EVER! The level at which ADHD affects people is so variable that i think you should not pigeon-hole parents who can barely manage to get through a day, let alone consistantly rally for political change. Ironically, you may be thinking right now that I am simply making excuses, but for me, this is reality. Society does not understand this brain-type, nor do they WANT to! It’s easier for society to chalk this up to behavioral malfunction, rather than a difference that in some ways should be celebrated for its’ specialness. We never get past the ridicule long enough to appreciate and celebrate though, do we?