Hopefully by now you’ve considered or created your New Year’s Theme. So often ADDers focus on what they did wrong, or what didn’t go well. I think that many people in society think that way but it seems that many ADDers seem to be more likely to focus on what they did wrong than what they did right.
I’m not suggesting you be stupidly optimistic and pretend you never did anything wrong, or that you shouldn’t look at your mistakes to try and learn from them.
I am suggesting that balance is important. Give some equal time to what you did right. Do some self inquiry to find out what you did do right in different areas of your life and some of the reasons for it. Are there any patterns there? Any hidden strengths or talents you noticed in the process? How could you build on your successes? How can you do right more often?
Then and only then should you examine the other side of the equation. What were some of the mistakes you made and why were they made? What sort of things could you do and who could you be to reduce those mistakes.
Make sure you do this from the point of curiosity and learning, not from the point of view of self condemnation and self flagellation. Intelligent regret is not a problem. But beating yourself up is an easy out, it allows you to avoid responsibility, avoid really thinking about the situation fully, and avoid taking action. This of course will increase the odds of you making the same type of mistake again, and the guilt blame hopeless cycle perpetuates.
What were some of the things you did right last year?