Fascinating article in New York Magazine on kids and lying where they talk about where kids learn to lie from. Their parents.
Encouraged to tell so many white lies and hearing so many others, children gradually get comfortable with being disingenuous. Insincerity becomes, literally, a daily occurrence. They learn that honesty only creates conflict, and dishonesty is an easy way to avoid conflict
They also lie a lot. on one study of 36 topics that teens sometimes lied to their parents the average teen lied to their parents about 12 of them. They talk about the many different reason kids lie.
Want to know which type of parenting produced the kids that lied the least?
Ironically, the type of parents who are actually most consistent in enforcing rules are the same parents who are most warm and have the most conversations with their kids,” Darling observes. They’ve set a few rules over certain key spheres of influence, and they’ve explained why the rules are there. They expect the child to obey them. Over life’s other spheres, they supported the child’s autonomy, allowing them freedom to make their own decisions.
The kids of these parents lied the least. Rather than hiding twelve areas from their parents, they might be hiding as few as five.